And So Began the Craig Clan:

Six weeks after we moved into our new home near Pegtown, Tom and I were stopped at Pegtown’s one and only stoplight – and it’s still the only one. It was 5:00 a.m.  I was in labour for our firstborn and within less than an hour of delivery time. While stopped for the red traffic signal, Tom and I came to one of the few things in our marriage that we’ve agreed upon and stuck to.

“Tom,” I yelped, clutching my belly, “Since I’ve been teaching French and since my females relatives and I all have French names, what about me giving French names to any daughters that we have? OK?” I grunted.

He said distractedly, “OK. Hey, would you look at that dod-darned (Tom’s most serious cuss words) idiot signaling a left but going straight through anyways! So what do I get to do in all of this?” – as if he hadn’t done enough already, nine months earlier!

From my doubled-over position with my head under the dashboard, I groaned, “Since all your ancestors and half of mine were Scottish, why don’t you give Scottish names to any sons we have. And you can have free reign with any pets’ names too. NOW JUST HURRY UP!”

 

Rochelle Craig takes the Christmas form letter to a new artform with…

 

RR #?
Pegtown, ON
OOH OOH

 DEAR

[ ] FRIEND
[ ]FORMER FRIEND
[ ] RELATIVE-[ ] SHELLEY’S SIDE – [ ] THE OTHER SIDE
[ ] BUSINESS &/or SOCIAL ACQUAINTANCE
[ ] OCCUPANT
[ ] DESPERATE, LONELY-HEARTS’ CLUB MEMBER
[ ] MASS CIRCULATION MAILING LIST
[ ] OTHER – please specify

This is the second version of the form letter to go out this year. We sent out a few using the “Royal/Editorial We”, but immediately got phone calls of complaint….

To those of your who sent us those phony “change-of-address” cards, we weren’t fooled for more than a day or so. Remember, we have six kids and have heard it all. For that, we send you a newsletter with no return address and with postage due…to both your old and your so-called “new” address.